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User blog:The Nameless Lancer/Fanfiction Re-review: The Story of Luna the Kin - Arc 2: The Hunter's Nightmare
When I reviewed arc 2 of Luna's story for the first time, I said that the story had a lot of potential, but all of it was lost because of how out of place the two Diary of Sophia chapters were, how horrible chapter 12 was, the fact that an Old Hunter raped a female Beast Patient, how much the story changed directions and got lost, and how diffcult it was to follow. Well, I was 100% correct. That review was very hard to make, and I still feel bad about how negative it seemed. However, Luna recently remastered the story, and that is why I'm doing this re-review. The remaster helped this story out drastically. Almost every one of the issues was fixed. It still has a few issues that can never be fixed, but that's okay. This story will definitely get a better score. I'm really excited to do this review. Let's get started. I do want to say that I used to praise the little details until I read arc 3 of this story. Luna went far too overboard on the little details, which almost completely ruined that story. We'll get to that another day, though. I originally made this review before I started giving scores to the chapters, but I do remember what my original scores would have been. I'm actually kind of scared to share them, honestly. Chapter 6: A Short Rest "A very descriptive chapter. I've said before that the little details add alot to the overall atmosphere of the story, and this chapter is no exception. I feel that this chapter doesn't have much conflict, but the little details make up for this by a large margain. That didn't make sense, but this chapter does a good job at explaining everything. Overall, this is one of the better chapters in the second arc." - The Nameless Lancer, December 7, 2017. I don't actually remember if this chapter got any changes or not. That doesn't really matter, because I never had a problem with this chapter. It is still probably in the top 3 or 4 best chapters in the story. I don't have that much to say, honestly. Original Score: 9/10 Remastered Score: 9/10 Chapter 7: Diary of Sophia, part 1 "Can someone tell me why this chapter exists? No? Because I sure as hell can't. This chapter is not poorly written or anything, but it's too out of place and doesn't fit in with the story. I feel like this chapter should be part of its own fanfiction, not here where it doesn't fit. Overall, a very poor chapter." Oh, how times have changed you motherfucker. I initially hated this chapter with a venomous passion. Now, I still don't love it, but it is certainly better. Luna added more details to it, which is really good. There's really nothing else for me to say. This chapter is not as bad as I had once thought that it was. Initially, it was fucking awful, but not anymore. The remaster can easily be compared to Plague's chapter "The Lancer's Folly". Both this chapter and that chapter were initially complete and utter horseshit, but are now pretty damn good. I still think that this chapter has no reason to exist, but I have some respect for it now. Original Score: 3/10 Remastered Score: 8.5/10 Chapter 8: Not ready to die "One of the best chapters in the story. Take what I said about chapter 4 in the last review, and you can pretty much apply that to this chapter. Does anything I say make sense? This is easily the most violent chapter in the story, and I praise it for that. It really makes up for the previous chapter. I am glad that Luna didn't get raped in the chapter. Also, this chapter always makes me think of the Avenged Sevenfold song Not Ready to Die." This is another chapter where I can't remember if there were any remasters for. It is still the best chapter in the story, so I don't have to say too much about it. Original Score: 10/10 Remastered Score: 10/10 Chapter 9: Diary of Sophia, part 2 "..........." Take exactly what I said about the first Diary of Sophia chapter. There is nothing more to be said. Original Score: 2/10 Remastered Score: 8/10 Chapter 10: Where the lonely ones roam "Getting past how retarded the title sounds, this is another great chapter. I love the brutality and action of this chapter, and it is up there with chapters 4 and 8 for being the best chapters in the story. Well done." That title is the only thing that I dislike about this chapter. Yet again, I don't recall a single remaster for this chapter. Maybe I just have a bad memory. I don't know. Original Score: 10/10 Remastered Score: 10/10 Chapter 11: Where the lonely ones roam, part 2 "Another excellent chapter. I love the little things. I can't express that enough. The only thing that I don't like about this chapter is when the Old Hunter rapes the female Beast Patient. Why is that a thing? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY? Let's move one before I go insane." This is the first chapter that got a much needed remaster. Luna changed the part where the Hunter rapes the female Beast. Now, it's not a fully transformed beast. The reason that that bothered me so much when I read it the first time was because I wasn't expecting it. It's not that I have a problem with beast booty, because I don't. I just wasn't expecting that. Unfortunately, I still can't see this chapter ever getting a perfect score, because I just can't unsee that now. I'm sorry, Luna. Maybe I'm just jealous that I didn't get any of that beast booty. Original Score: 6.8/10 Remastered Score: 9/10 Chapter 12: The devil within "Another poor chapter. The name is cool, which makes the chapter even more disappointing. Can anyone tell me what the fuck is going on? Me neither. It is cool how Luna prayed to Kos, which reminds me of Micolash." This is actually pretty funny. After remastering this chapter, Luna sent me a message. Apparently, he/she (I don't know) couldn't understand what the fuck was going on either. That is hilarious. The remaster was pretty good, but not flawless. The chapter is still longer than it needs to be, but it is easier to follow. If you can take a chapter like this, that used to be a fucking terrible pile of shit, and make it better, then you are a great writer. Original Score: -2/10 Remastered Score: 7.8/10 Chapter 13: Follow me home, to where the lonely ones roam "Another great chapter with a lame title. This chapter is great because it reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Edge of Tomorrow. I was not expecting a reference to that movie in a Bloodborne fanfiction. Another really great chapter." This is easily the worst named chapter that I have ever come across. The name is horrible. But the chapter is really good. I don't recall it getting a major remaster, but it didn't need a remaster. It is a very good chapter. If Tom Cruise was in this, then it would be perfect. Original Score: 10/10 Remastered Score: 10/10 Pros *Brutality. *Chapters 7, 9, and 12 are a lot better. *Chapter 11 is less disturbing. *The story is very remastered. Cons *Even though it was fixed, I can't get the image from chapter 11 out of my head. Verdict This story is so much better now. Luna did a fantastic job with this remaster. So, the moment that we've all been waiting for. The score increases from a 7.8/10 to a 10/10. Well done, Luna. Well done. Category:Blog posts